Yesterday my husband was killed when his car was stopped on the side of the road on Highway 1 in Marina. www.montereyherald.com/…
I don’t really haven’t written diaries much but I lurk a lot. There as so many wonderful, smart people here. And I love Caturday and pootie diaries. They really keep me going and I take some comfort our cats Kobi, Georgina, Darth Kitten, and Leo (above) will be meeting him and hopefully the Pootie Queen (dear Tricia) and other Kossacks. He’ll love to talk Scifi and math and science.
His name was Hank Heath (HankHeath here). We met at a showing of Buckaroo Banzai in Fort Lauderdale in 1986. We hit it off and married on March 20, 1987.
He’s always been my rock. When we met, my grandmother had recently died and when why grandfather became very ill with a combination of COPD and HIV we moved in with him so we could take care of him and be with him.
We moved around a lot for his work and I kept getting ill. The SLE has pretty much vanished, but I have Ehlers Danlos and now Myasthenia Gravis and he was so wonderful in dealing with all the shit that my body kept throwing at us. We recently decided we would move to Idaho to be closer to my family but it looks like I will be going alone.
I don’t know how to be this person that people call a widow. I still expect him to walk through to door any minute. And I can’t stop crying.
I don’t know how to breathe now. I literally cannot find my voice. I’m cleaning and arranging things and I have a lot of (mostly) pretty crappy furniture and housewares I can give away if people are in need.
I’m puttering and going online and I’ll be here mostly, but I don’t know what to say or do.
I just really want to cry and all my family is either in Idaho or New York so I’m here.
